Trying to survive and win an irrational battle is tough.
It’s have been three eternal months, my four-years-old son has been fighting with the freaking fear of wind and rain as hell.
Coincidently, I am writing this while it is an electric and strong raining. My son just fell asleep, luckily.
Over these months, I have tried several techniques to cope to his fear without any fuc*** luck.
There’s no a minute I can't see his eyes filled in panic.
I see his body starting to lose weight.
His skin is kind of pale now.
I see him like a zombie kid.
Could not be another way. He is not sleeping nor eating enough in the past months.
That beast in his mind is taking over and destroying him bit by bit.
That smashes and crushes my heart and soul. I can't describe it. This pain goes beyond the moon.
Some friends and family come home, but he is not willing to see at their faces, he just wants my wife, his aunt or me to hug him strongly.
He just wants to feel protected and safe today.
Hope is quickly fading away
Tiredness is taking a toll on me and my wife.
I am exhausted and hopeless trying to help him overcome this fear.
It is really hard to say a word and expect he is listening to me and taking it into account.
I just want to control his emotions, but I have zero luck.
I want and try to get into his mind to fly and see what he sees. I try to become an explorer in his mind to find a little light that help him.
All those tries are worthless now.
Hope is quickly fading away.
The urge to give up is now standing in front of me. It seems the only choice I have.
Light at the end of the tunnel is not real. Darkness is all around, instead.
The world out there is happening smoothly
It seems I am losing this battle. It seems I am falling down when everything around is still up.
Interestingly, everything out there seems is happening with no news.
Our home is in front of the main street, I can clearly hear other kids laugh and run at the other side of the street.
They are going home.
I stand up and see they are our neighborhood kids, almost the same age as my son.
And without thinking, I ask myself why those kids are just fine? And why my son got trapped on this?
It’s not fair. I thought, but I quickly pray for them.
It is not their fault nor mine. Nor God, nor life.
This is just a task destiny throw over me and my family, and it was my son who got the mission to get through it.
Outdoor activities are now a titanic mission
In fact, that mission is now standing in front of us. I can feel its power and force.
Getting out and have social activities have become the scariest things to try.
My son has no willpower to get out of home. He is so freaking scared going out.
He stares at trees leaf and branches and I can’t imagine what’s monsters, beast and devils are surfacing in his head.
After that, he quickly looks for refuge. He screams up for protection. He claims security.
How the heck, this fear has gone so deep in my son mind? How this became so irrational?
Under the chaos, nothing seems to work
Darkness and chaos are now joined and fighting against you.
Even though, I have used several powerful techniques and tools.
I have swallowed a bunch of posts that aim to help on how to overcome this fear.
I have watched several videos. I have listened to several podcasts.
I brought my son to therapy. An expert assessed and created a plan with no results at all.
How to convince my son to do baby steps on that battle has been one of the hardest task I have had since I have memory.
There’s no a deadline for this.
All falls down in the uncertainty. All these has become eternal.
Ending Thoughts
Facing the irrational fears of wind and rain has been an intense, hard and devastating battle my son has had to fight.
Thankfully, as of this writing, my son is now 6-year-old.
There’s no longer more fears. All darkness has gone. Light is now bright. The burden is slightly.
Sometimes when a rain and wind come, I look at him and see his black eyes are staring at it with bright.
Thankfully, this time he is able to keep staring for an unlimited time without any fear.
Even though I could not see what is happening in his mind, I bet to say that tiny memoirs come to his mind, this time with no pain, thanks God.
He is one of the stronger person I have ever met.
His grit and fearless are now proof that everything in this life can be achieved.
Remember that even when all things look dark, we can get through it little by little.
In the next piece, I will go deeper about the plan I used to win this battle. We’re going to learn the power of the `Top Offensive` technique.
I hope this touches and help you in some form. Thanks for reading.
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