Overcoming my son excessive fears of wind and rain has been one of the toughest battle I faced in recent years.
But as I always say, we can defeat any battle if we are willing to resist, persist and be bold along the way.
The key question is how do I achieve it?
We definitely need a base plan and strategies.
I have learned a lot by getting through it. I became more merciful and empathic, just a better human being.
Get into my son mind and body to understand what was happening and act upon it was my mission.
Yet, this was really hard because he was still a little boy — four-years-old by then.
If explaining something to a kid under normal circumstances is hard now imagine trying to explain and convince the same guy but with an irrational fear.
It is twice harder or even more.
Under this monumental scenario, you need a winner plan.
The first step you need is to understand and know your enemy deeply.
The worst natural disaster that triggered the fear
How the heck this did get started?
It was May 2020. The tropical storm Amanda was arrived and causing severely impacted to our communities.
There were high winds and heavy downpours. It was the worst natural disaster in recent years in our country.
Back then, we lived in the countryside.
One day, my son was playing in the yard and suddenly rain started.
He kept staring that tree that is in front of our house.
Due to the high winds, the main branches — the bigger and stronger ones, broke.
It seems being witness of this scene marked the beginning of his irrational fear of wind and rain.
Since then, there were no day that his black eyes stop to stare at the movement of the branches.
The snowball effect
Winter had just started, so there was a long run to get through it.
The little fear had started to increased day in, day out.
Going out to the yard, started to be a little battle.
Traveling and going in the car was twice harder.
Having dinner at a restaurant or staying at a public place triggered an irrational panic.
It was notorious. He wanted to go back and getting in the car to feel safe.
I really needed to help him. I needed a plan. I needed an effective strategy.
The Top Offensive strategy
Even though, preparation comes before engaging in any battle, in my case I needed to plan on the fly with the available resources and information I had.
I needed to execute a well-old-known kid for me, — the Top Offensive strategy.
This technique boils down to setting the strongest and unstoppable mindset you will have ever.
It lies on act and moving forward from zero to zero or to one, where any measurement of progress does not matter as a whole, matter the steady actions along the way, instead.
The step-by-step plan
Now is time to jump on and show you the exact steps I followed to help him conquer his fear.
1. Timeboxing — time-blocking
Timeboxing is a simple time-management technique that can help you accomplish the most while keeping your boundaries in mind.
The same applies when it comes to tackle a battle, time allocation is crucial.
This means creating a specific slot of time within your calendar to really focus on, reflect and set the mission for the day.
The following is the time I allocated in my calendar.
Author Calendar
2. Understanding his fears
If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle. — Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
I knew my son. I knew myself. I knew his fear.
Yet, I needed to go deeper.
I needed to know where exactly the fears came from. I wanted to know the face of the monster that he saw.
I sat down a bunch of times with him and talked about it.
I asked specific questions like: is the wind what scares you? Or is the rain? I paused and waited his answers.
The wind, he said.
Thunders are scary, I said, do they scare you too? I asked.
He said yes.
I hugged him and said. I am here to help you, OK.
What about if we create a plan to protect us from wind and thunders? I asked him.
He said, yes, speaking slow.
The next steps were to create the context to help directly or indirectly to cope to his fears.
3. Becoming an expert of the fear
Explain as much, simple and clear as possible all about the nature events they are afraid of.
I used any available spaces and resources in our house to paste pushers and motivators.
I pasted papers with bold and big words that explained how the rain works.
There were also pasted papers that described how thunders and lighting bolts works.
Strategically just after that I pasted the steps to follow before, during and after a rain.
We watched several videos that explained all about rain, wind and thunders. We read books as hell.
We digested a vast of content would help us later without noticing.
During this time, I would say we both became experts on the field. We became the experts of the fear.
I still recall this.
I am here my boy — keep calm, look for a safe place, find a way to have fun on things that matters became one of the most repeated phrases back then.
4. In the midst of the battle
In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity. — Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
I had tried several tactics and followed experts tips, but they seem weren't working as I wanted.
To be honest, I tried to give up in the midst of the chaos several times.
I was helpless.
Yet, the mindset behind of the Top Offensive technique was one of the thing that kept me sane.
The burden on my back was so heavy even though when from time to time I saw small progress.
Either way, so I decided to look for professional expert’s help.
5. One-session professional expert’s help
I talked with my wife, and after a long discussion, we agreed to look for professional help.
This was a hard thing to do for us because there weren't other family members nor close-friends facing these kinds of behaviors.
We booked a session and brought our son to the psychologist.
Deep in my soul, I knew almost everything the experts could say and recommend.
Long story short.
The expert suggested and followed almost my ritual I had been doing for a couple of months
This was the only professional session my son had.
Somehow I knew I was on the right track, I just needed to stick and persist awhile more.
6. Stick to your plan
Even when you don't see progress. Believe in your plan.
It will take time. It will prove your patience and determination.
The nature of these battles are titanic.
It goes the same way as when you go to the gym the first time. You must ensure to stay far way from the idea of getting notable results in the short term.
It does not work that way.
I know it, it is freaking hard to keep pushing, but the miracle might be nearer than you think.
Your kid or loved one will overcome it, eventually, for sure.
After a few months, the fears went away.
All efforts and actions added up to conquer his fears. God did his job too.
Ending Thoughts
My little son developed this fear from a tropical storm, and it went on his back for a couple of months.
Believe me, this was one of the hardest battle I faced recently.
Yet, as I always argue, we can defeat any battle if we are willing to resist, persist and be bold with an effective action plan and the right strategies.
Help your child or loved ones talking about what’s frightening him.
Don't forget to stick to your plan, do it even when you don’t see progress. Believe in your plan.
Finally, I am deeply grateful because as of this writing, my son is now 6-year-old.
Sometimes when a rain and wind come, I look at him and see his eyes stare at them.
This time his fears has gone.
His grit and willingness now proof that everything in this life can be achieved.
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