Bet on having more questions than answers
Plus the most powerful things that changed my life when I turned 35 I just would add:
Thank God. I am really grateful for my life, family, and loved ones, even when I just lost my Grandmother — The greater and unbreakable spirit I have ever known.
Yes, on February 3rd was my 36th birthday. I am so grateful, I am still alive even when COVID-19 is still hurting us like hell. It has been a long, exhausting, incredible, remarkable, and powerful journey until now.
Lord if is your will gift me more time to finish my mission in this beautiful world, please!.
I would say I have lived my life in a way that allowed me to make years count rather than count the years.
I decided to become the captain of my ship. I have done meaningful things over the last few years of my adult life. Yet, this voyage goes on.
As George Meredith said “Don’t just count your years make the years count”
It is not about how many years we have gone through, it is about how many meaningful things we have added to those years that really count.
Let’s dig into this.
A certain day at the first job I got, I had an honest and deep conversation with my boss. He asked, “How were you able to discover your passion so early because my adult daughter doesn’t know what to do with her life, and she is almost as old as you” he stopped and looked at me.
I answered him “I don’t know, the only thing I know is that sometimes by the need we need to figure it out by ourselves, it is something like trial and error. I followed my intuition and I made decisions based on previous experiences.
The more things you experience, the more inputs you have on the decision-making process. But most importantly, wisely decisions.
Having said that, let’s dive into the purpose of this piece. The next are the most powerful things that changed my life forever. They were what made me the person I am now.
Where I came from doesn’t determine where I want to go
I was born so poor that I never got any gifts during my childhood birthdays, neither when I was a teenager. I am saying it without complaining, in fact, I thank God for it.
My parents were never able to afford to make me a birthday party. Any pennies were to keep all my brothers and sisters alive. They worked so hard to keep us alive.
They were focused on survival. Not only that, but they were focused on putting a few pieces of bread on the table, then split them into small chunks to share out among my brother and sisters. Luckily, they made it. I am so proud of them.
I am now a software engineer and a writer.
Bet on having more questions than answers
The more questions you have the more knowledgeable you will become.
Learn to ask for help all time. Ask questions when you are not clear enough on something. I have learned that we need to throw our fears, insecurities, and self-doubts away.
By asking questions, you are overcoming the hardest part of any new process — the fear to look silly and naive.
On top of that, I have seen how many of us simply don’t ask even when we are really blurry about what other people are teaching or sharing with us.
We freeze out because of what others will think about us. Forget others and focus on yourself.
Act you like my three years old son (Axel), he asks countless times the same question and as a result of the previous answer, he continues asking.
Be a good player and stick to fair play
When it comes to fame or success, sometimes we decide to say any BS in order to gain or reach a level of fame or success.
I remember when I played soccer. My coach gets used to saying, if they hit you, you should do the same in order to not be intimated by them. I didn’t agree with it.
I betted to fair play all time. I wanted to win clean, I wanted to build relationships with my opponent, not the other way around.
I wanted to win by showing the result of the training and the skills I had built through it.
This is the biggest thing I learned.
Flowers bright next to each other
You can become a successful writer, developer, businessman, or whatever you call success by betting on fair play.
People, clients, or followers will respect and admire you for those skills rather than for how successful you are.
Surround by people who push and support you anytime
Making real friends should be one of our biggest goals. Friends are the most precious treasure in the world.
Sometimes they will be honest and weak with their advice. But other times they will hurt you by saying tough things but in the end, it is the truth.
That is the way to push you out of your comfort zone. That’s the way to make you a better person.
Just make sure you are surrounded by motivated, inspired people. You will exponentially grow as long as your network is that kind of guy.
As someone once said,
Winning alone isn’t fun.
We need to be connected, like some trees do. Under the ground, they are connected to each other by their roots. They wrap their self roots into the others, so they create strength.
Forget overnight results and avoid instant results
For once and for all, forget that worthwhile things are overnight. Who says it is lying to you. All of this requires time, effort, pain, and sacrifices.
If you decided to go to the gym and get in shape, don't focus on instant results. It will take you time and discipline.
When it comes to writing or coding is the same. You will master it as long as you do it on a daily basis.
Otherwise, you will start to feel frustrated because you are focused on instant results rather than building a sustainable process in the long run.
Learn the art of negotiation
Being in a relationship for more than twelve years has allowed me to learn one of the most important but underrated things — the art of negotiation.
Believe it or not, everything in life is a negotiation. I had to learn to negotiate with my wife. When you get married, you commit to being there no matter the circumstances.
Even when you and your wife have several things in common, there are a few of them you will need to negotiate with each other in order to keep a healthy, good and long-term relationship.
If she loves buying clothes, and you hate to do it, you need to accept it and help her by going with her to the mall. The same applies to her. She should do the same for a particular thing you love, but she hates it.
Final Thoughts
Certainly, a birthday is a good day to reflect on how much you have moved forward and how much you have grown.
You will never figure out the absolute truth because it doesn’t exist. Your beliefs and mind are flexible. They are capable of change over time.
Bet on being humble, honest, and a simple human being. Reaching success, you don’t need to hit someone else. Be a good player and stick to fair play.
Remember, your future is determined by what you are doing today no by what you say you will do tomorrow, next week, or next month.
In the same regard, don’t forget that where you come from doesn’t determine where you want to park your ship. Become the captain of your ship, define and pursuit success on your own terms.
Finally, make sure you are surrounded by amazing, motivated, and inspired people. Grow and support each other. Winning isn’t fun alone.
Thanks for reading. I hope this turned out helpful for you.